I am a Man.

I remember when I was a little girl
I insisted on wearing dresses everyday
Vanilla fields
sneak the mascara,
put on my mothers heels and lingerie.

Power.

She got sick. Real sick.
I rose to the challenge,
left my barbies in their pink mansion,
driving their pink sportscar.

Then, in middle school, she became a drunk
I didn’t know what to do.
Didn’t have any money,
I remember saving up for this
Suave strawberry detangler
a glimpse at womanhood.

In highschool, I moved in with my dad
and became a farm hand.
By this point being one of the boys was
second nature.
I didn’t know, I just worked alongside them.

Then I graduated high school and was homeless,
bootstraps again.
To this day, I think I’ve had 2 pedicures.
I’ve owned one bottle of real perfume
My closet is full of work clothes rags and the things too fancy for any occasion I’d be in.
While the other ones learned to shake their ass
and fall in love
I dreamt of story books
Love I had imagined
while I spange for a pack of ramen
oh mercy

please

then men only want to spoil the girls who are already spoiled

What of true love.

fooled again by a shallow hue.

I want to have someone take care of it, so I can take care of myself. I never wanted to be the man, it just happened that way.

Now who will be my man, with such shoes to fill.

I’ll probaly be alone forever..

Together Again.

What I wouldn’t give
to feel like I was complete
To know exactly all I have been
And all I’ve seen
After all these years I’m still
on the dark side of the street
But I know I always seem to land
On my feet

So, I’m gonna put it all together
today
Yeah, I’m gonna own it all and do things
my way
I’m gonna put a reason to this
suffering
I always knew I would put it all together
again.

Woman Child

I have no identity
Outside your property
Long legs spread
when I should have been warm in bed
Standardized tests
and I’m staring at the rain
from the classroom window
Feeling enveloped
I knew I wasnt the same
They all did, too
Just couldnt put their finger
on what to do.

What should have been special
a violation
So i let them take and
lost more and more
of an imaginary place
where i could be free
to live
away
from pain
to have respect
and love.

28 times and I’m not afraid.
28 times and I lost my way.
28 times and there’s still too much to say
This is all I can do today.

Her Last Stand

I just read about a twelve year old girl
Katelyn Nicole Davis
who committed suicide
live
It took two weeks
for the clip to quit

Wanting to be heard
and loved
so bad
So scared to tell the truth
She had to make it her last stand

i wish I could have known her to give her a haven
even in her thoughts
so she could have the tools
to manage her emotional pain
to give her hope in a secure future
to let her not be afraid
to let her know she deserves boundaries
and
has her own life to make

But she’s gone
because her step father
couldn’t stop sexualizing his daughter
and her mother
needed something that was worth more than
her honor.

What is a safe place worth?
her truth spread like ground cover
And everybody wonders…

It’s no mystery to me.

When people are fulfilling your basic needs,
you can bet it’s not for free…
You let things slide because you think you need it
turn it down in your head so you cant feel it
Meanwhile a good meal and a clean break
could heal it
Could even do the right thing and
deal with it
but that would mean
you’d have to shatter your dreams
and face your destiny
Dont erase it
Each petal in the bloom
a different face of you
If you see another little girl
with the same eyes
You’ll know it’s you
and this time
you’ll know what to do.
Babies please dont take your lives
we can find a way to face
their legacy of lies
and get you to a safer place
help you readjust your mind
Oh God how many times
this could have been me
I wish you were here
I could help you miss the years after
trying to find meaning in laughter
acting out your degradation
like a lamb at the slaughter
No that wouldn’t have been you
You would have been better
I’d teach you everything I know
Encourage you
Stood there until your last chapter.

The Scales

My Vines
Climbing
Entwining
Forging
Coursing
Binding you to the ground
At dusk.

Wrapped around you so
the Great Creator
can behold you.

I tell them your story,
Why I’ve brought you there.

In return, I ask only that they
Shower you unprotected in their brightest light.

Buckle under your truths,
let it burn you
let it make you cry out.

Let those who double cross me
Have a piece of my heart
Placed in their soul
To burn
like a haunting
While the Knights rise,
charge across the Sky.

Let their swords of truth
hit you betwixt the eyes

Let the heavens smile.

Love is the highest law,
Let it be in my command
Let it bloom…

Even the Rose has Thorns.

Exquisite Philosophy

via Daily Prompt: Exquisite

The Mimosan people
lived in a port town.

Twenty thousand troops came
sailing unmarked
and unleashed Hell
on the peaceful philosophers,
cultivators, inventors.

The Mimosans didn’t have weapons,
and had only heard of war.
The Pirates ripped right through them,
With their cannons and blades

After five days of fighting
and reinforcements arrived
The blood shed rolled thick
the tide swept it out
with the dead
And the sharks came

the bones of six hundred thousand Mimosans,
men, women, and children
formed a reef in the Red Bay,
all for no reason,
and who was to blame?

The leaders sought justice
but knew
Without knowing who
The act of Justice then becomes an Injustice.

So they claimed to be barren
closed the gates
and built a clay soldier
For every life claimed.

Centuries in the making
the vision complete
A civilization
Still committed
to making itself
Great.

Fortified and beautiful
A monument
A fulfilled promise
Exquisite thinking,

Exquisite taste.

Exquisite